“Was für Eltern muss man haben, um so verdorben zu sein…“–Die Toten Hosen, “Bayern” Bayern Well, that was exhausting. Incredibly proud of how we played, and how we didn’t give up even after being three goals down at two separate points. It reminds me of the away game against Frankfurt last year—a bit of bad …
English Week, Part 1
“TAIWOOOOOOOOOO”–everybody It’s been quite the English week for us. Because I embarrassingly have some business education, I’ll list the highlights in bullet form: Tie with Leverkusen, the best start to the season Bushwhacking of KuPS, our first European win in 20 years The return of Ultras (and away fans) for the Conference League game Another …
EVERYBODY LAY OFF ROB
“Welcome back to the Al-ta Fersterai”–The Announcer. It fucking begins again, eh? Well, nice to start the season for us. For all the complaining, a draw is 1.) a record result for the first game and 2.) totally understandable against a team like Levekusen, which, last I checked, had an average player salary 4.5x that …
Match Report: D.C. United
Having grown up in DC and moved back here shortly before the pandemic, it struck me that I ought to attend a DC United game. Not that I know the first thing about plastic MLS, but it would be remiss of me to not even have a look at the hometown team before I leave …
Apocalypse Now
“The Horror! The Horror!”–UEFA, probably, on learning we made the ECL. It seems now that the world must indeed end. Union scored in the 92nd minute to go to Europe, a stroke of luck which has only produced global catastrophe in its wake every time it has occurred (see previous post). But having already meditated …
We Would Like To Issue An Apocalypse Warning
“First We Get Promoted, Then Win the Pokal, Then International”–Union Fan Song. Of course, we haven’t won the Pokal yet, so the ordering is somewhat curious…“And someday, someday, we’ll play international yet”–Different Union Fan Song, sung to the tune of Mrs. Robinson We must prepare ourselves for COVID-20. Or an asteroid strike. Or nuclear war. …
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Goodbye, Gente!
“You have…no…good…car…ideas!”–Old Man, “Focus Group” sketch from I Think You Should Leave Now That was a forgettable game. It reminded me, more than anything else, of our showing against Hoffenheim last year around the same point, when relegation was secure and we were up against a motivated team fighting to secure a spot in Europe. …
VAR: Very Abysmal Referees?
Super League?! How you gonna have Arsenal in a Super League?!?! Well, a game happened today. Obviously, they blew that penalty review—Reus was clearly taking a dive, and then was too close on the ensuing spot kick. This is exactly the kind of stuff VAR was meant to avoid, but I suppose that’s missing the …
Gib niemals auf, und glaub an dich!
“The dream of 1. Liga remains real. Thank you to EVERYONE in the club!”–Ultras’ banner on the Gegengerade Before this game we had never beaten the VfB Stuttgart in 5 previous outings. Yet statistics lie, because we all know that’s strictly not true, is it? Because 2 of those games were ties, which, in sum …
And So It Goes…
Frankfurt am Main: Germany tries and fails to make lower Manhattan (but with better airport connections) If it was like any other game, we’d have stayed. We’d have stayed until they had to turn the lights off and shut the gates, and perhaps only the departure of the train back to Berlin would have made …